Sh*t Law Professors Say

Strangely, this popular Youtube concept has not yet resulted in a video about law professors. We are here to fill the void.  For those of you not familiar with the genre, here is an example, also produced in our home town.

Pending the forthcoming video (sure to go viral), here is the static version of:

Sh*t Law Professor Say.

In Class

What is the procedural posture of the case?

What are the facts of the case?

The facts are almost always irrelevant.

Facts always matter.

These days, every judge is a neo-textualist.

These days, every judge is a neo-realist.

These days, every judge is an activist.

These days, every judge exercises restraint.

Judicial review is undemocratic.

Judicial review is the hallmark of a constitutional democracy.

“Will it be on the test?”  Is that why you are here, to learn how to take tests?

Everyone will get better at taking these tests.

Ms. Bloom, there are no right answers, only better and worse arguments.

Yes, precisely Ms. Atkinson, that’s the right answer.  Did everyone hear Ms. Atkinson?

In private

I wonder if I have more ssrn downloads than Henry.

I wonder if Jennifer has more ssrn downloads than Susan

Why are Susan’s teaching evaluations better than mine?

Does this law review article make my butt look big?

This entry was posted in Experimental, The BAT Cave and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Sh*t Law Professors Say

  1. How about “Duty” and “remove the taint” ? Those were, are, and will continue in perpetuity to be, my two favorite law professor phrases.

  2. In Class
    “Let me check on that and we can discuss outside of class”

    “I’m not sure, BUT my SENSE is the court would find…”

    “the court found that it is the job of the legislature to modify the common law”

    “the court found it could not wait on the legislature to modify the common law”

    In Private
    “The edits on my article were due to the law review last week”

    “Sorry, I have to prep for class”

    “Sorry, I have to prep for a conference presentation”

    “Sorry, I have to prep for a committee meeting”

    “No, I don’t only work 3 hrs. a week”

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